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Reassessing life
2010-04-09

I have been thinking of this for quite some time now.

Taking a full year off. Or at the worst, 6 months! To do things I want to do. Terms and conditions being my own.. at least majorly.

I am unsure as to how feasible and practical it may be… but, the thought has become so predominant that I can no longer sweep it under the carpet.

I have been feeling a strong surge to focus away (vaguely called ennui?) from things that I usually do for just the payday and to do more of things I would love to do.. things like traveling (backpacking, trekking, cycling), database and ETL design, photography, bird watching, writing a book, developing a new skill, meeting new people, doing more in life!!

Or maybe freelancing in my own field (of databases, data warehousing, business intelligence, etc).

Now, why in the world would I want to do this?

Don’t get me wrong. I love my field of work. But I feel stagnant. The things I use to love doing have become a tad too repetitive. The enthusiasm has tapered off because its the same old thing I have been doing for a long now. Plus we have directions to follow. Rules to obey. Guidelines to stick to. Best practices to adhere to. Mistakes to avoid. Excuse me… I am lost! All this has only increased the need to experiment!

I need a shot of morphine! I need exciting stuff to work on.

I need to be in a situation where I can learn new things every day, new skills, etc. Where I can make mistakes and yet see my face on the mirror without guilt.

Of course, I am scared. Its only natural. The Indian market is not open to such ideas. A gap in your resume is considered more like a handicap. And freelancing (consulting.. not merely contracting) is not yet popular in India. And the fear of not having a pay is scary. The fear of not getting a ‘good’ job again is scary too.

But I am turning 30 next month. I don’t want to regret at 60 for NOT having done things I wanted to do.

2011 is what my heart says is a good time to do it.

The dilemma is still there. If you don’t see another post on the topic, just consider that I conveniently brushed it under the carpet and continued with life…

PS: Of late, have noticed several people with similar thinking. Good or bad… I don’t know.